Greetings, O time-traveller from the past! Welcome to our decade!
You may have noticed some distinct eccentricities in the English spoken in our time, but here is a quick phrase book to help you understand some of our more curious modes of speech:
|2020s English||Traditional English|
|“What’s happenin’?”||=||Good morning/afternoon/evening|
|“to incentivize”||=||to give an incentive to|
|“going forward”||=||in the future|
|“reaching out to”||=||contacting|
|“he gifted”||=||he gave|
|“poor mental health”||=||feeling unhappy|
|“tweeting”||=||(actually, you probably don’t need to bother about this one any more)|
Now, let’s put what we’ve learned into practice. Here’s an example message that might be received by an employee of a company in the early 2020s from the senior management. Using the above table, you should be able to understand it:
What’s happening, everybody? Great news! We’re reaching out as part of our wellness and incentivization program to let you know that, going forward, we’ll be gifting you everything you need to participate in the cosplay sessions, which will take place on the evening before each of the monthly upskilling days. Remember, regular social activity has been proven to enhance your mental health!
What? Wait a minute…! You’re not staying?