Category Archives: Humour

It’s a miracle!

There was a miraculous event at my brother Simon’s house in Winchester this week, as the new plaster in their sitting room started to dry…

I told him not to paint over it, and he could then retire in comfort, as long as he didn’t mind having a lot of visitors.

Actually, the miraculous event was that — being, he freely admits, somewhat unfamiliar with Photoshop or anything similar — he created this image in Powerpoint.

Anyway, I thought it was great.

Lord Elrond’s Lament

All that is gold does not glisten
Not all those who wander are lost.
Renewed shall be blade that was broken?
I dread to think what that’ll cost.

Viticulture

I’m used to labels on bottles of wine telling me that I should expect a ‘hint of blackcurrant’ or ‘subtle aromas’.

But in Portugal recently I had a (very drinkable) wine from a vineyard whose marketing department had, perhaps, become a little over-excited.

It’s nice to know there are still jobs out there for people with Literature degrees, isn’t it?

Buster Keaton working downstairs

Hope your browser can display this…

Everything stops for tea

There are some tunes that are so catchy, they stick with you for ages.

I think I heard ‘Everything stops for tea’ about three or four decades ago, and probably only once. But the wonder of modern search engines is that they allow you to go back and renew your acquaintance with the things that formed those neural pathways all that time ago…

Setting healthy boundaries for your child’s use of fire

Here’s a thoroughly enjoyable piece in the New Yorker, providing guidance for concerned Palaeolithic parents. Extract:

You don’t want to be the bad guy, but you also want to make sure that your child engages in other activities, like mammoth hunting and the gathering of rocks and bones with which to make tools. So, how do you set appropriate boundaries for your child on fire usage without jeopardizing the family unit so crucial to the survival of the species? Here are some tips…

Roses are red

I came across a thread on Twitter with geeky poems on the ‘Roses are red…’ model. So here’s mine:

Roses are #ff0000
Violets are #0000ff?
I think violets should be
More like #ee82ee
Don’t you?

Mmm.

Guaranteed way to cheer up your day

Spend 10 minutes with the brilliant Victor Borge.

The test of time

Seen on Twitter – sorry, I forget the source!

Tree-herd

Tilly and I were walking in the woods yesterday. We passed an Ent, who turned and watched as we went by.

Political Correctness

I’ve always said that I am politically challenged, and that anybody who expects me to be politically correct is therefore guilty of serious discrimination, at which I am likely to take offence. 🙂

The political correctness pendulum has clearly swung too far over the last few years, and is now an appropriate target for ridicule. John Cleese rather nicely explains why.

Speeding up evolution

Motorised goldbish bowl
Technology doesn’t only help humans move around in new ways: This project at CMU allows a goldfish to drive its tank around the room.

Now they’ve done the difficult bit, all they need to do is work out how to explain to the goldfish what exactly is going on. I fear that may still take a few million years…

© Copyright Quentin Stafford-Fraser