Status-Q

Due to a slight linguistic error, Scottish fire services are encouraging people to escape from burning buildings on a donkey.

Tired of discovering little bits of lead shot in your roast partridge? You need Season Shot:

Season Shot is made of tightly packed seasoning bound by a fully biodegradable food product. The seasoning is actually injected into the bird on impact seasoning the meat from the inside out. When the bird is cooked the seasoning pellets melt into the meat spreading the flavor to the entire bird.