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I’m sitting at a departure gate at Stansted airport, where my flight is delayed “due to the late arrival of the incoming aircraft”. I love the way they say that, as if it excuses everything. I couldn’t help laughing as RyanAir announced just now that another flight will have “an on-time departure”. Definitely worthy of announcement!

The best bit, though, was as I walked past another gate where the last remaining passenger was asked in no uncertain terms to “make himself known at gate 45 immediately”. A couple of people called out “I’m Spartacus!”, “No, I’m Spartacus”…

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