Daily Archives:March 23rd, 2006

Airline safety

I’m writing this on a flight from Johannesburg to Cape Town operated by the low-cost airline Kalula. We had the usual departure delays that one expects from budget airlines, but otherwise I’m quite impressed; the seats are spacious and comfortable and the staff are friendly.

What will stick in my memory, however, was the safety briefing, which was a hoot. Extracts that I can remember include:

“In case of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the panel above your head. Please stop screaming and pull the mask towards you, which will start the flow of oxygen…”

“In the event of a landing on water, you will find beneath your seat the latest fashion in lifejackets. Please place this over your head and tie the straps securely around your waist, as you may actually survive this…”

“…please help children, and passengers acting like children….”

“Please ensure that your mobile phones are switched off, as they may interfere with the aircraft systems, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to end up in Zimbabwe.”

© Copyright Quentin Stafford-Fraser