Status-Q

One of the useful bits of information in the manual for my new car:

Always be careful when closing a door. You could otherwise cause serious injuries to yourself or others. Make sure that no one is in the path of a door.

Good. I’m glad they put that in. It’s a big manual, though, and I haven’t got to the “Running with scissors” section yet, so I’m not handling any office implements for a while.

Did you know you can destroy your webcam if you lick it too frequently?

More information here.

Perhaps the word had got about that webcams were originally a way of dispensing caffeine more effectively.

Thanks to Andrew Arends for the link.

I’m in the process of buying a new car, and I’m bemused by the fact that every dealer wants to sell me a ‘paint and upholstery protection’ package, typically with a name like ‘Safegard’, promising a Teflon-based coating that saves my paintwork from nasty pollutants, saves me having to wash the car, and ensures that spillages of coffee etc inside will cause me no future problems.

All of which sounds attractive, but it could also be the emperor’s new clothes. These highly-efficient protective barriers are conveniently ‘invisible’, and who’s going to spill something on their new car seat just to test it out? More to the point, has anyone done a side-by-side test where they also spill something on an ‘unprotected’ car seat?

I’ve had fun asking dealers questions like, “What deficiencies in Volkswagen’s paintwork is this designed to address?”, but I’d really like a scientific answer to this. Many dealers persuade you to protect your precious shiny new vehicle in this way, and they tell me that they have a good take-up rate. If it’s that good, though, why don’t the manufacturers do it? Does anyone know of a Consumer Association or similar blind-test report on this? – I couldn’t find one.

Are huge numbers of people being conned? Is this just a cunning way of charging you £300 for a wash and wax?

The Guardian’s ‘Science Weekly’ podcast is rather good, and the episode I’ve just enjoyed finished off with a great song by Johnny Berliner about the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.

The classics in this genre are, of course, Flanders & Swann on The First and Second Law of Thermodynamics and Tom Lehrer’s recitation of the periodic table to the tune of ‘I am the very model of a modern major general’. If you like these, I recommend following the link above and scrolling about 22 minutes into the podcast.

More from Johnny here.

Walking through Stansted Airport this evening… Rose was there in Borders with the big names. Iain M. Banks, Melvyn Bragg, Jack Higgins, Rose Melikan…. Very strange feeling…

It’s important to keep variety in one’s life, I feel, and not get caught up in too much of a repetitive daily routine.

Take today, for example. I drove out to a nearby village, had a pleasant lunch with my wife and mother-in-law, and then, a little later in the afternoon, a lion peed on me.

This is not something that I would normally expect on a quiet Sunday afternoon, but life would probably be very dull if it didn’t happen from time to time.

He was, I admit, the other side of a fence. We looked each other in the eye, we both purred some suitable greetings, and we seemed to be getting on rather well. But then, as he turned to go, he lifted his tail, and his range and aim were good. I turned fast, but not quite fast enough to stop a little from going down my neck.

I shall continue to assert that he intended this as a mark of great friendship and respect…

Well, as regular readers will know, Rose’s first novel, The Blackstone Key, launches today. She’s written academic books before, but this is her first work of fiction, and is the start of what will be at least a trilogy.

It’s the nearest we’re likely to come (or indeed, have any desire to come!) to announcing the birth of a first child, so we’re quite excited. Mother and baby (1.8lbs , ISBN 978-1847441331) doing well so far!

If you, or anyone you know, is interested in historical adventures, this should be on a bookstore shelf near you in the next day or so, or you can get it from Amazon or RoseMelikan.com. The US publisher has described it as “Jane Austen meets Agatha Christie”, which is good, because it might sound pretentious if I had said it. 🙂

Amazon are also taking orders for the sequel, which will be out in about 11 months’ time.

Exciting stuff – The Blackstone Key is not officially launched yet – that happens on Thursday – but Amazon have a few in stock and have shipped some to people who pre-ordered. Laura, who ordered hers ages ago, is the first person we know who has actually received a purchased copy.

There’s even a nice first review from somebody:

…With strong characterisation that keeps revealing new facets to the characters and an intriguing spy mystery, the author holds the reader throughout, right up to the thrilling conclusion on the dangerous streets of London.

In days of yore, the seasons were well-defined by the agricultural and ecclesiastical calendar. For most of us now, however, the progress of the year is marked by other milestones. One day, I’ve decided, I’d like to write a coffee-table book with photographs, about what indicates changing seasons in the modern world. They’re different for all of us, and they don’t have to be limited to four.

For me, in Cambridge, the first real change occurs when I can ride a bicycle without wearing gloves.

A little later, the punts start appearing on the river, and then the hearts of the colleges descend into silence as exams approach. Female undergraduates wear sleeveless dresses.

Post-exam balls lead us into high summer, as our undergraduates are replaced with language students, who spend a few months here learning English and learning to cycle on the left.

Then, after a while, you find that the walk to a college dinner is something you do in the dark, and before long, you need to wear gloves again when you’re cycling home.

What defines the changing seasons for you?

I’m not sure whether Adobe is seriously wanting to get into web-based software as a service, or whether they just want to demonstrate the potential of Flash, but Photoshop Express is pretty cute.